Tuesday, August 01, 2006

today,, i didn't go to school... actually i did got to school for my clearance.. rephrase.... i didnt attend my classes,,,, i went to school a while ago at 3:30 pm just to get my clearance, pay my tuition fee, give the grading sheet and pass my oralcom project...


i am so sick right now!!! i cant eat and i feel so weak!!!! ...ate tm bought me tons of gatorade coz i might dhydrate... vomitting all the food i eat,, eeeooowww!!!!! ...i woke up at 5:45 am,,,,, ate my breakfast then shower na,,, exag bigla k nahilo!!!! as in,, my face became soo pale,, white na!!!! then i grabbed my towel,,, went out of the bathroom.. dressed up then lied down sa bed.... exag muntikan na ko magcollapse dun!!!! sooper!!!! ...so mom told me not to go to school,,, and wag daw muna ko punta sa wake ni lolo coz i need some rest,, puyat kase ako!!


all of them were in loyola,,, kami ni shobe naiwan dito,, and yaya! ...now ive realized hindi ko kaya magpuyat when im doing and thinking a lot of things...unlike nun summer maski whole day, whole week ata ko gising kaya ko... im losing tons of weight though...


many sad, depressing things happened to me this year!! and i really dont like it! syempre sino ba may gusto?!?!?! losing 2 persons i love! :( ...my 17th and 18th dance last february...


thursday,, july 27,, i didnt go home,, sleep over kay kai.... friday, july 28,,,, after class ive decided to go to glorietta to buy a gift for kla... then i checked my phone if may nag text.... 1 NEW MESSAGE ....view.... sat wala na si lolo :( ....i was shocked!!!! dunno what to say,,, hindi ko rin alam if tama pagkaintindi ko,,, i really dont wanna believe it kase lolo?!?!? lolo aboy?!?!? hindi siya totally sick,,, so it cant be... but i guess ganun talaga... i rushed home and i was crying sa cab while katext ko si ate janelle..... it took me days to accept it,,,, hindi talaga siya nagssink in sken kase hindi ako makapaniwala!


ang hirap,, ang bigat sa loob coz i was just planning to visit him over the weekends,, as in july 29... pero what?!?!?!? hindi na ko umabot,,, i havent seen him since the day tito told us na mejo mahina na si lolo,, i mean he cant walk by himself... and coz of busy schedule, weekend lang un time na pwede ako magvisit... tapos nawala pa un chance na un!!!! ang bigat bigat talaga ng feeling!!!!!! :'c ....hindi pa nga ko over and i havent moved on dun sa isa tapos meron pa ulit bago,, another hurting experience.....


ewan ko,,, during lolo's wake,, i found out some things na mejo,,, ouch!!! ...asking my cousin who she was?!?!? deleting me sa ym's list,,,,, profile,,,, testi,,,, no condolence?!?!?!? ..i guess it was really easy for him to do all those,,, maski for friends nalang wala..... :c ...sana ganun din kadali sken,, pano ba un?!?!?! pano ba nagagawa un ng ganun kadali?!?!?!


i dont wanna think about it anymore,, its time to accept facts and stop thinking of the impossible things.. this is reality,, i need to face it!


kuya will arrive tom,,,, we're complete again,,,,, i need to get well....




eulogy..... i will use this for my oral com exam


May I Go?
by Susan A. Jackson


Do you think the time is right?
May I say goodbye to pain filled days and endless lonely nights?
I've lived my life and done my best, an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond, and set my spirit free?


I didn't want to go at first, I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now to a warm and living light.
I want to go, I really do; it's difficult to say.
But I will try as best I can to live just one more day.


To give you time to care for me and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and afraid, because I see your tears.
I'll not be far, I promise that, and hope you'll always know,
That my spirit will be close to you wherever you may go.


Thank you so for loving me. You know I love you too,
And that's why it's hard to say goodbye and end this life with you.
So hold me now just one more time and let me hear you say,
Because you care so much for me, you'll let me go today.

hating me wont make you pretty...| 8:19 PM

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------------------------------------------ ** I'm sugar & spice & everything nice but before u mess w/ me, you better think twice **
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:::about me:::

**satin patricia villanueva
**18
**02.25.88
**colegio de sta. rosa, makati(hs)
**assumption college, san lo (current)
**international business and economics
**childlike but not childish
**rational
**broke
**weird laugh
**B.U.S.Y
**no time for non sense

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