Saturday, August 26, 2006
**10 PAINFUL THINGS**
10. bringing back the feeling you've learned to forget
9. remniscin' the good times
8. tryin' to hide what you really feel
7. lovin' someone who loves another
6. having a commitment with someone that you know wouldnt last
5. shielding your heart to love somebody
4. LOVING A PERSON TOO MUCH
3. right love at the wrong time
2. taking risk to fall in love again
1. accepting that it was never meant to be
hating me wont make you pretty...| 10:38 PM
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
as ive said to myself,,, im just waiting for this special day.... AUGUST 23, 2006!!!! ...and eto na un!!!! this will be the start..... better be the start because i have no reasons to wait and hope for anything anymore.... i cant force myself to someone who doesnt feel the same ng saken... and i cant force myself to someone who is very insensitive...
hmmm.... every 23rd of the month is my birthday,,,!!! joke toh ha!!!!
today,,,, was,,,, BAD DAY!!!! I HATE THIS DAY!!!!! I REALLY HATE THIS DAY!!!! ..honestly,, hindi ako nagagalet e! i dont know how,,, and this was the first time na magalet ako ng ganito! ..iba ko magalet,, im warning you!!! tsk!!!!
tama toh e = "ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME TO AN END!" ...ang bait ko kase mashado e!! malay ko bang bad thing un in return nun good thing na ginawa ko!?!?!? tsk
haaayyy ewan!!!!! shit!
hating me wont make you pretty...| 10:51 PM
Saturday, August 19, 2006
really!!!! ako ba toh?!?!?! nyahahahahaha
AUGUST 18, 2006 = we had our pep rally,,, as usual,, dance contest for the team... dapat i wont dance na,, only the new members,, pero wala natripan lang,,, KAI and I danced!!!!!! what song?!?!?! STARS ARE BLIND!!! ..yup paris hilton!!! nyahahahaha di ko sure e!!!!
AUGUST 19, 2006 (today) = BUSINESS DEPT velocity, sportsfest,,,, what did i do?!!?!? uhmmm... cheering lang naman!!! hahahahahahaha ..all my high school life, never ako nagjoin sa cheering kase la ko talent magdance!!! pero ngayon?!?!?! ewan ko ha!!! para sa red team,,, para sa ibe,,, para sa block ko!!! hahahahaha ...my block did the cheering,, as in 2h1,, second year ibe!!!! plus ATE NINA!!! c: siya lang hindi second year,, pero ok lang,, muka naman siya age namen!! hehehehehe :) ...oh my God i was really nervous!!! this was my first time to join a cheer dance!!! and fortunately,, coz of our good looks,, pa-cute effects, stunning stunts,, awesome moves,,, WE WON!!!!!!! CHAMPION!!! :D hahahahahahaha ..pinractice lang namen toh for like,, 3 hours yesterday!!!! oh yeah oh yeah!!! freaking happy!!! ..i really enjoyed my day!!!
tama lang toh,, forget all the worries and ouchness muna!!! :D
half day lang kami nila tracy and kai.. coz we'll have our shooting... our director?!?!?! my very own cousin,, ate janelle!!! :D hahahahaha lalang,, aliw e!!! haaayyyyy.....
ALL PICTURES AND CHEERING VIDEO (il try) at http://iamsatin.multiply.com
hating me wont make you pretty...| 9:47 PM
Thursday, August 17, 2006
"YOU NEVER STOP LOVING SOMEONE. IT'S MORE OF JUST LEARNING TO DEAL WITH THE PAIN OF NOT HAVING THEM ANYMORE..."
"WHEN YOU LOSE SOMEONE YOU LOVE, YOU NEVER GET OVER IT,,, YOU JUST GET USED TO IT."
fudge!!! :'c ...depress mode again,,, i am so freaking affected sa nangyayare!!!! ..na dapat naman hindi kase labas na ko dun,,, pero ewan... ewan talaga!!! pakatino ka naman,,,, worried... :c
pep rally tom,,, 1 year na since the surprise visit!!! hala!!! sige lang sa reminisce!!!! :c
hating me wont make you pretty...| 11:11 PM
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
august 14.... we had our school vigil.. tapos me and my friends had our "so-called" vigil!!! hahahahahaha ..actually biglaan toh!!! hindi sadya,,,, la rin sa plano! :D ..then stayed sa school,,, slumber party ito ng business dept ...so we went home the next day at ....i arrived at around past 8 am sa house,, slept at 9 am.. woke up at 12:30 noon,,, went back to school
i had soo much fun though i didnt have any sleep! haaayyyyy (sa 5th floor, ac)
i wont tell the whole story regarding this vigil,,, im tired... next time nalang! ..and im freaking sleepy!!! tsk
PICTURES AT http://iamsatin.multiply.com
hating me wont make you pretty...| 1:30 AM
Sunday, August 13, 2006
AUGUST 18, 2006 (friday)
AC PEP RALLY!!! (sa ac toh!)
ATHLETES' PARTY.... concert ng madaming bands!!! :D
hating me wont make you pretty...| 11:26 PM
Saturday, August 12, 2006
dami nangyare for the last few days....
where will i start?!!?? hmmm.....
august 5, saturday,,,, twin went to lolo's wake and i was surprised because tong went din but mas nauna si twin,, i think tong and neri arrived around past 9 pm already... then they went home at past 1 am... i enjoyed the night,,,, for hours i forgot all the griefs muna... hmmm....
AUGUST 6, 2006
HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TWIN!!!! :D
i love you soo much!!!!
thanks for everything!!!!!!
pagbalik nila kuya carlo,, bonding ulet tayo with them!!! :)
the cremation mass last sunday went well,,, ok naman,,, peaceful,,, walang something...
this week august 9 to august 11 was my midterms,,, and oh mi god!!!!! business statistics?!!? damn hate it!!!! nahirapan ako no joke tlga!!! hindi ko sure.....
august 10,,, had one exam only,,, and after this,, went home na agad coz lunch out with ninong angie then derma,,,, haaayyyaayyy... another gluttony day for us,, me especially!!!!! ..dampa libis,,, seafoods!??!? damn!!! sarap!!! pero control..... then went to derma after,, they had their facial and massage,,, me facial lang coz dami ko na pimples!!!! ....ate donna (siya lage facial sken) told me na i gained weight!!! yes i did!!! i gained 5 lbs!!!! 100 lbs na ko!!! shekz!!! am i anorexic?!?!? nope hindi pa,,, actually no talaga,, yoko lang bumigat pa... tapos dami ko rin daw pimples ngayon,,, STRESS!!!!! haayyyy.... then after these lakads,,, we went to rockwell pa,,, then home,,, then planned to watch a movie pa!! EXAG!!!! parang wala kong midterms the next day e!!! and take note,,, my exam was ECONOMICS!!! my major!!!! ..honestly,, hindi ako nakapg-aral,, totally... sooper goodluck nlang sken!!!! tsk
newei,, gluttony days started when my lolas brought tons of food sa wake,,, as in lutong bahay foods and the foods were sooper sarap!!! ,, after nun,,, lage nalang kami kumakain.... as in!!! pero control pa rin coz im worried na i might get heavy, mahirapan na ko maglaro...
i was really happy when my cousins/family 'bonded' with tong and kris... walalang,, nice feeling lang though i heard alot of feedbacks after,,,, you dont like him na ba (for me?)??!!?!?!? walalng,, i heard alot of contras kase,,, but i dont mind,,, what can i do?!? i still have those feelings,,,, kaya mejo ouch din when i heard it... actually when 'toot' told me.... fyi,,, twin (kris) is like an extension of villanueva sisters,,, kami nila ate,, kapatid ko talaga si twin e!! hehehehehe ..kiddin' aside,, she's like part of our family na... :)
yesterday,, after school... i went to ayala center to meet up with ate lara, kuya carlo, tita beth, tita lina, and tito ver.... in other words the san juan family... :) ..eion shopping shopping.... tapos went to pasay,,, then kuya carlo, me, ate lara watched sukob!!!! vverry scary!!!! no shit!!!! ate lara and i were like in a roller coaster.. sigaw kme ng sigaw e!!!! hahahahaha ...i really enjoyed this day,, nilulubos coz i will really really miss them... a while ago,, they went back to australia na.... haaayyyy :c ...first part of the day yesterday,, saya saya ko maski hindi ako nakapag aral sa eco,, pero when i was in glorietta and about to go to pasay,,, hatid sila tita,, parking...
....ewan nasad ako,, and i was disappointed,,, i was expecting a change regarding that,,, pero it didnt change pla,,, naging worse pa! :c ....hope you know what you're doing,,,, sana marealize mo na mejo la na sa lugar.... kala ko after all na nangyare mababago un,,, hindi rin pala... ewan ko,,, :c ouch!!! but i dont have any right naman to feel that way,, and i dont have any right na makielam pa dun pero,, doi!!! i still care!!! :c darn!!!
btw,, last aug. 10,,, when we went to rockwell,, kuya carlo bought a gift for twin,, then he bought me a turtle!!! todo kinulit ko si kuya for that turtle pillow (ayaw niya kase bilin si cotton,, meron na daw ako ganun,, e ibang version naman in pinapabili ko)!!! ..pero THANKS KUYA!!! UR DA BEST!!! ...fyi,, though im already 18 years old,, looks mature,,, i still have a heart and a mind of an 8 year old kid.... :) ...i love stuffed toys,, and pillows na cute!!! pero my being immature naman e nasa lugar!! hahahaha (defensive) ...then my turtle pillow has a name na,, una pagong,,,, then my ac friends told me na patong nalang daw (know why na!),,,, then last suggestion and this is the final name na,, MY TURTLE PILLOW'S NAME IS ... FISHIE!!! hahahahahaha ...lalang,,, :D
my stuffed toy babies.... :D (the last two pigs were my collection,,, im obsessed with those pigs,, un mga singkit!!!! and since i named mine cotton,,, lahat ng ganyan tawag ko cotton!!! hahahaha)
dami kwentos e pero sken nlang un... i heard,,, again another song,,, okay toh!
Back To Me
Artist: Cueshe
Sometimes I can feel like Im all alone
Wondering of what have I done wrong
Maybe Im just missing you all along
When will you be coming home back to me?
There were times I felt like giving up
Haunted by memories I can’t give up
Wish that I never let you go and slip away
Had enough reasons for you to stay
[Chorus]
Cant you feel me
See me falling away
Did you hear me,
Im calling out your name
Cause Im barely hanging on
Baby, you need to come home
Back to me
Sleepless nights
Cause youre not here by my side
Cold as ice
I feel deep down inside
Maybe Im just missing you all along
When will you be coming home
(Repeat Chorus except last line)
When will you be coming home
Back to me
sakto sken diba!?!?!? hahahahaha here i go again.... :c
ANO BA YAN?!!?! NA-MIMISS KO NA AGAD SILA KUYA,,,, TSKA SI BRUHA!!! (ate lara) ..bilis kase.... ..december ha!!!? (feeling ako e!!!)
hating me wont make you pretty...| 11:03 AM
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
today,, i didn't go to school... actually i did got to school for my clearance.. rephrase.... i didnt attend my classes,,,, i went to school a while ago at 3:30 pm just to get my clearance, pay my tuition fee, give the grading sheet and pass my oralcom project...
i am so sick right now!!! i cant eat and i feel so weak!!!! ...ate tm bought me tons of gatorade coz i might dhydrate... vomitting all the food i eat,, eeeooowww!!!!! ...i woke up at 5:45 am,,,,, ate my breakfast then shower na,,, exag bigla k nahilo!!!! as in,, my face became soo pale,, white na!!!! then i grabbed my towel,,, went out of the bathroom.. dressed up then lied down sa bed.... exag muntikan na ko magcollapse dun!!!! sooper!!!! ...so mom told me not to go to school,,, and wag daw muna ko punta sa wake ni lolo coz i need some rest,, puyat kase ako!!
all of them were in loyola,,, kami ni shobe naiwan dito,, and yaya! ...now ive realized hindi ko kaya magpuyat when im doing and thinking a lot of things...unlike nun summer maski whole day, whole week ata ko gising kaya ko... im losing tons of weight though...
many sad, depressing things happened to me this year!! and i really dont like it! syempre sino ba may gusto?!?!?! losing 2 persons i love! :( ...my 17th and 18th dance last february...
thursday,, july 27,, i didnt go home,, sleep over kay kai.... friday, july 28,,,, after class ive decided to go to glorietta to buy a gift for kla... then i checked my phone if may nag text.... 1 NEW MESSAGE ....view.... sat wala na si lolo :( ....i was shocked!!!! dunno what to say,,, hindi ko rin alam if tama pagkaintindi ko,,, i really dont wanna believe it kase lolo?!?!? lolo aboy?!?!? hindi siya totally sick,,, so it cant be... but i guess ganun talaga... i rushed home and i was crying sa cab while katext ko si ate janelle..... it took me days to accept it,,,, hindi talaga siya nagssink in sken kase hindi ako makapaniwala!
ang hirap,, ang bigat sa loob coz i was just planning to visit him over the weekends,, as in july 29... pero what?!?!?!? hindi na ko umabot,,, i havent seen him since the day tito told us na mejo mahina na si lolo,, i mean he cant walk by himself... and coz of busy schedule, weekend lang un time na pwede ako magvisit... tapos nawala pa un chance na un!!!! ang bigat bigat talaga ng feeling!!!!!! :'c ....hindi pa nga ko over and i havent moved on dun sa isa tapos meron pa ulit bago,, another hurting experience.....
ewan ko,,, during lolo's wake,, i found out some things na mejo,,, ouch!!! ...asking my cousin who she was?!?!? deleting me sa ym's list,,,,, profile,,,, testi,,,, no condolence?!?!?!? ..i guess it was really easy for him to do all those,,, maski for friends nalang wala..... :c ...sana ganun din kadali sken,, pano ba un?!?!?! pano ba nagagawa un ng ganun kadali?!?!?!
i dont wanna think about it anymore,, its time to accept facts and stop thinking of the impossible things.. this is reality,, i need to face it!
kuya will arrive tom,,,, we're complete again,,,,, i need to get well....
eulogy..... i will use this for my oral com exam
May I Go?by Susan A. Jackson
Do you think the time is right?May I say goodbye to pain filled days and endless lonely nights?I've lived my life and done my best, an example tried to be.So can I take that step beyond, and set my spirit free?
I didn't want to go at first, I fought with all my might.But something seems to draw me now to a warm and living light.I want to go, I really do; it's difficult to say.But I will try as best I can to live just one more day.
To give you time to care for me and share your love and fears.I know you're sad and afraid, because I see your tears.I'll not be far, I promise that, and hope you'll always know,That my spirit will be close to you wherever you may go.
Thank you so for loving me. You know I love you too,And that's why it's hard to say goodbye and end this life with you.So hold me now just one more time and let me hear you say,Because you care so much for me, you'll let me go today.
hating me wont make you pretty...| 8:19 PM